An Experience Like No Other...

This past week was a real eye-opener for me as I have learned a lot from the consequences of my actions. The funny thing, however, what happened to me this past week, has actually happened 3 years prior; I think the aftermath of this year finally made me realize that I have to change, otherwise there is no way of me succeeding at anything in the future.

Of course what I'm talking about, and what I need to change – immediately – is my relentless procrastination! It is absolutely awful! It has plagued me for many years of my life, but instead of getting better, it is only reaching new heights, and I cannot sit back and let it suck me in any longer.

This week was the first week back after reading week, and to put it colloquially, it was a week from H-E- double hockey sticks! And of course, I am the only one to blame, because I chose, once again, not to take advantage of the week off, and actually do some school work. Like I said before, this is the usual routine for my reading breaks – not doing school work – but this time it hit me tenfold. I have never felt so disorganized in my life! I think in total, I only got 8-10 hours of sleep for the entire week; I was sick and coughing up my already weak lungs; I missed too many classes because I was doing midterms/studying/reading for others; and on top of that, I had to pay $400 so my arm could be numb for the entire week, from the vaccination shots I received! I'm just glad the school reimburses us, otherwise I don't think I could afford to go to India. There is more I could say about this week, but I digress. I'm sure there are students who are in the same predicament as myself, or maybe even worse. And I am not doing this so we can have a “pity party” for Raquel. The last thing I need is pity! What I do need is tough love and discipline (and a massage). But by putting my bad habit out there, this may be a different way for me to solve the problem, because I usually just deal with everything internally and by myself.

So let me continue to “put myself out there”: Once I got myself in this situation and realized that I needed to stay up hours on end to finish everything, that's what I did. I was able to finish everything that I needed to, on time, and some would commend my efforts. To tell you the truth, most procrastinators I know end up pulling everything off in the knick of time, and we end up doing well, for the most part. (These are the ones I know, not all procrastinators can do this). Most procrastinators would agree that it's that added pressure of working under the gun that fuels our creative energy. But honestly, I just can't take it anymore. After this week, I left too much to the last minute, and despite completing everything, I was still disappointed with myself. I was disappointed that I put myself in that situation, yet again; I was disappointed at the fact that I wasn't 100% satisfied with my end work; and I was mostly disappointed that after so many years, and so many proclamations about wanting to end my procrastination, that nothing had changed.

Let's just say that I've been kicking myself all week! But enough beating myself up, I need to move forward. A quote I read from Walt Disney said, “You may not realize when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” Life is faced with endless challenges and it's how you meet those challenges that really matters. It would say a lot about my character if I continued down this downward spiral, and let my procrastination get the best me. Or I could recognize that it is making me unhappy, and that it's jeopardizing my academic career. I choose the latter, but I know this is not going to fix itself in a day. I'm young, I'm making mistakes and trying my best to learn from them, even though this particular mistake keeps reoccurring. But I'm also human, and some habits, like procrastination, take some more time to break. I think what might make the difference this time around, is that I truly hit an all time low, and I never want to feel like this again. I WANT to change, and I want to get rid of this horrible habit.

Now that I admitted to being an incessant procrastinator (the first step is always admittance), it's time to take action … and no, I won't start next week! I'm actually really good at writing down tasks and what needs to be done. It's somewhere after compiling the list that either laziness kicks in, or the television or Facebook beckons. As something new, I'm going to post, here, some reasons I found as to why I procrastinate and then some advice/steps I found to help me fight it. Hopefully when I catch myself procrastinating, I can come here, read this list, and get back to work.

Here's a few:

PROBLEM: “People don't want to face the consequences of failure, so they delay.” (Pace Productivity)
SOLUTION: “Develop a clear mental picture of the completed task and how you will feel at that time. Maintain a focus on the end result, not just the process. Remind yourself how good you'll feel when you're finished”(Pace Productivity)

PROBLEM: Laziness.
SOLUTION: Joanne, the director, said this simple phrase to the class: “Be like Nike, and 'JUST DO IT' ”

PROBLEM: Not taking the first step
SOLUTION: “When you start to look too far into the future any task or project can seem close to impossible. And so you shut down because you become overwhelmed and start surfing the internet aimlessly instead. That is one of the reasons why it is good to plan for the future but then to shift your focus back to today and the present moment”(Henrick Edberg, Positivity Blog).

PROBLEM: Too much thinking, not enough doing
SOLUTION: “A bit of planning can certainly help you to achieve what you want to achieve. A lot of planning and thinking tends to have the opposite effect. So plan a little and then take action” (Henrick Edberg, Positivity Blog).

PROBLEM: Putting off small tasks
SOLUTION: “By over thinking and putting things off you are not only trying to protect yourself from pain. You also make mountains out of molehills … The more hours and days you put something off the worse it grows in your mind … This makes a little thing a big Godzilla, a horrible beast that is threatening to ruin your life” (Edberg).


For more great tips and detailed explanations on how to stop procrastinating, click: The Positivity Blog.


Also, check out this video I found on Youtube... it's where I got the title for my blog!


Until next week :)

Reading week is officially over. Well it was fun while it lasted!

During the reading week I was able to get in touch with some friends, share stories, and brag about India. While we were indulging in deep, intellectual conversation, one of my good friends pointed out that I have a tendency to always bring up the negative sides of things. I denied the accusation, and I did go on the defensive a little bit, but the truth is, this wasn't the first time someone had said this to me. Because this wasn't the first time, I had to do a quick self analysis and ask myself, “Do you always think about the negative?” If people who are very close to me, and have known me for years are telling me this, then there must be some truth behind it that I am clearly unaware of. Then I started wondering if this is how I am perceived by others. If so, will the people I meet in India think I am negative as well?

In retrospect, I can admit that I am more predisposed to think about the worst case scenarios more often than I think about the best case scenarios. Also, when people ask for my opinion, or tell me about certain plans or situations, I am usually the one to play devil's advocate, if you will. As an example, instead of agreeing right away, I like to ask questions such as, “If A doesn't happen, then what are you going to do?” Or I'll say somethiing along the lines of, “Yes, that's great, but what about ________?” I personally didn't think of this as being “negative” per se, but it led to me being called that dreadful word: pessimist!

All this time I thought of myself as a very happy go-lucky girl, with a friendly disposition, who is always smiling and laughing, and has a great sense of humour. Now, I am being called a pessimist? This can't be! A pessimist is the complete antithesis of who am, or should I say, who I thought I was.

For some reason the word “pessimist” leaves a bad taste in my mouth. “Why?”, you might ask. Well, I blame society, first of all. To me, the word has an overall bad connotation. I view pessimism and optimism as a type of dichotomy, where, on one end of spectrum you have pessimists who are miserable, cynical people, who are never satisfied, who are very unappreciative, and depressed because they view everything in life negatively, and are unable to see the good in any situation. (Now do you see why I was so offended to be called a pessimist?) Meanwhile, optimists are self-deluded people who are running through life as if it were a field of lillies and daffodils; where nothing can upset them, or bring them down, because they believe everything in life will work out perfectly in the end. This is obviously my over exaggerated interpretation of pessimism and optimism, because I don't think people are actually like this, however, based on my own interpretations, I would not want to be placed on either side of the spectrum! Quite frankly, it may sound better to be called an optimist instead of a pessimist, however, there are pitfalls to being either one. For example, optimists may be setting themselves up for failure by having overly ambitious goals, and no alternative courses of action if those goals are not met, because they assumed everything would work out. Thinking about or planning for the worst case scenario is not necessarily a bad thing, but being overly pessimistic about every situation, is. Plus, it cannot be good for your health. That is why I consider myself to be a realist, which in my mind, is a combination of both pessimism and optimism.

The classic test used to decipher whether or not a person is an optimist or a pessimist is to ask, “Is the glass half empty, or half full?” Apparently if you answer that the glass is half full, you are an optimist, and you are a pessimist if you see the glass as half empty. I remember when I was first asked this question and, before I understood its implications, I had trouble answering it, because clearly the glass is both half empty and half full. Then, throughout the years, I became more apt to say the glass was half empty. I'm not sure why, really. I should have maintained my initial position, but maybe throughout the years I became more skeptical life. What this suggests, however, is that I have always been a realist at heart!

A basic definition of a realist I found was, “A person who accepts the world as it is literally, and deals with it accordingly” (Church of Reality). This is exactly what I tell people when they call me a pessimist. I suppose because I am so quick to point out the "negative", or the bad outcomes, people take that as me being pessimistic. However, I would rather lay all the cards on the table and give all possibilities equal consideration because, realistically, that's how life works. Not everything will turn out horribly bad, and not everything will be absolutely wonderful. The only thing we can do is wait to see the the outcome, and deal with it from there. But like I said in my last post, preparing for worst case scenarios, is always wise and decreases the chances of failure. And I don't see anything pessimistic about that!

Hello again. I'm so happy this week is finally coming to an end because it officially marks the beginning of reading week. It could not have come at a more perfect time. I think in the anticipation of an upcoming holiday, my mind is unable to think of anything else. As a result, I was going through all my classes sort of, aimlessly, with the exception of our BB class this week. The cohort finally reunited, and it was really nice to have the entire class together again. Half of the class did presentations on their country, and everyone did a really great job. Watching the presentations and hearing about the different cultures and adventures that some of the members will be going on, made me want to to go to their placement's too! I would never give up the opportunity to go to India, of course, but I think I've been bit by a travel bug because want to travel everywhere!

Continuing on... After the presentations we took care of some house keeping issues, well not so much home keeping, it was more like Joanne (the director of BB) filling our heads with frightening scenarios to “better prepare” us for our time abroad. To paraphrase, she would rather us go overly scarred and frightened, and then have us calm down once we settle in. And she's right. We need to hear and prepare ourselves for the good, the bad, and the ugly, and we really don't need anything sugar-coated, otherwise the transition is going to be absolutely unbearable. I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail”. This is exactly why I appreciate our classes, and the words of advice, more and more, as my departure draws near.

What I really wanted to talk about in this post, however, is transition – my transition from Canada to India. Obviously, I have no idea how I'm going to handle this, and I think, for the most part, I've been envisioning myself as being able to handle whatever comes my way. I do this a lot actually. I always picture myself in future situations and act out how I think the situation is going to play out, but nine times out of ten, I am completely off the mark, and nothing goes according to my vision. Okay, so how does this relate to my transition? Well, while I'm able to imagine my arrival in India, and getting along great with my host family, and doing all that wonderful tourist “stuff” for the first couple of weeks, my vision goes completely blank after that. The longest period of time I've traveled by myself was for two weeks, and that was a little bit different because I was surrounded by friends from school. But as you can see, my mind cuts off at about the two week mark. After that, I've never had to think about what happens next. Which brings me back to India. I really never thought about what happens after all the excitement fades after the first couple of weeks, and I stop being the “new girl” and transition into being a “local resident", in a sense. I want to believe, and I want to think, that I'm going to handle this with ease, like everything else so far in my life, but for some reason, thinking about the one month mark, or the two month mark, is more nerve wrecking to me, than thinking about the first week. I want to imagine that by month one I'll be comfortable, I'll have a structured routine, I'll be able to manage my duties at the orphanage despite the language barrier, the girls at the orphanage will like me, and I might even have a friend or two. But the truth is, what if those things don't happen? What if this is the one situation where I am unable to adapt to the new environment? I don't want to be too naive about this trip, and I don't want to think everything will work out in my favour, because, like I said before, nine times out of ten, fate has a funny way of working against me. But when life throws you lemons, you should make lemonade! I think having this attitude, and letting go of the “fairy tale” notions that everything will be perfectly fine, will help with my transition. Preparation is still mandatory, of course, but because my future in India is so unpredictable at this point, I am going to have to learn how to revel in the new experience one day at a time.

Thanks for reading!

Ahh the month of February... It's a month made for university students and lovers! Many university student's are filled with anticipation as they count down the days until their one week break from the madness that is school. During this week, many dedicated and hardworking students take this time at home to catch up on readings for their classes, while reading ahead a few chapters to prepare for the rest of the semester. Plus, if they're anything like myself, they'll throw in some leisurely reading on the side. Afterall, it is "reading week"!

And of course, the 14th marks the day where people can celebrate (or repudiate) the beauty that is love, by over indulging in lovey-dovey Hallmark cards (which are so over-priced!), stuffed Build-A-Bears, fattening chocolates and candy, and flowers that die within days. But then again, nothing says Valentines day like dried up vegetation! P.s I'm not bitter or anti-Valentines day, if that's what you were thinking :)

But there is another event that's bigger than reading week, and even more historic than Valentine's day, and that is Black History Month. The entire month of February is dedicated to the remembrance of influential African American people throughout history, such as, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Booker T. Washington, Sidney Poitier, Jackie Robinson, and more recent figures like Maya Angelou, Oprah, and of course, Barack Obama (just to name a few); who broke down barriers, overcame the struggles of slavery and segregation, and paved the way for African American generations to come.

Now, there are many directions in which I could take this post, especially with the controversy that seems to be surrounding Black History Month in the 21st Century. There have been disagreements and debates about an entire month being dedicated to the African American race alone, which some consider to be unfair. Others, such as Morgan Freeman*, however, contest BHM because reducing the entire African American history to one month is "ridiculous". There are also issues centred around the current relevance of Black History Month, and whether or not it is as widely recognized or celebrated as before, especially amongst younger generations. Although these present great discussion questions, I actually wanted to focus on the founder of BHM because I recently discovered the man behind BHM, and I don't think too many people are aware of this extraordinary man.

So here is some history on Black History for interested readers:



What is now a month, first started out as one week. Dr. Carter G. Woodson, the son of former slaves, single-handily founded what was called Negro History Week, in 1926. Woodson chose the second week of February because it celebrated the birthdays of two important men who greatly influenced the history of black people: former U.S President, Abraham Lincoln, who issued the Emancipation Proclamation, and abolitionist, Frederick Douglas (Haney, 2007).

Woodson would spend his childhood years working in a Kentucky coal mine, until the age of 20, when he enrolled himself into high school. The bright young man earned his diploma in 2 years, and then his Bachelor of Literature degree at Berea College in Kentucky. Later, he attend the University of Chicago and received his M.A, and from there, he went to Harvard University to receive his Ph.D in history, becoming the 2nd African American to earn a doctorate degree. The first African American was another civil rights activist and co-founder of the NAACP, a man, by the name of W.E.B DuBois.

Dr. Woodson's drive and inspiration stemmed from his observations that there was a lack of documentation on the history of black people in history books and textbooks, and in the rare occasion where African Americans did figure into the picture, they were often misrepresented, stereotyped, or denounced because of their inferior position in society. Woodson wanted to refute "the canards that black people aren't as intelligent as other races and are more prone to criminality and dancing" (Kelly, Newsweek, 2010). Unfortunately, not to say that nothing hasn't changed, but this is obviously one stereotype that remains engrained within black communities. But continuing on...

After recognizing this niche, Dr. Woodson co-founded the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History (ASNLH),now the Association for the Study of African American Life and History, in 1915, where he, and fellow members, would research the history of black people in American, and world, history. Collections from this archive would be published in the Journal of Negro History, which is still being published today, but is now the Journal of African American History, and distributed to teachers, schools, communities, and clubs, to promote the significant contribution African Americans had within history (bio., 2010).

Dr. Carter G. Woodson passed away in 1950, but his contribution and his legacy to the African American people remain to this day, albeit, not as well-received as it once was. For some reason, BHM has taken a shift from being an uplifting, pride-filled month for Black people, more so for Americans than Canadians, but regardless, it seems to have become something demeaning and oppressive. Maybe because Barack Obama has accomplished the unimaginable, Black people feel we are finally equal? Or maybe because the tradition has been around for so long, people feel they already know all there is to know about Black history, which is unfortunate for my children because by the time their in school, perhaps BHM will be nonexistent. I hope this isn't the case, but I'm sure there will be, no, there MUST always be, other avenues for people to learn the history and the historic figures of their race. Whether you're Black, European, Indian, Spanish, Asian, Scottish or Arabic; whether you have one day, one week, one month or no months, to glorify the influential people that made a difference for your nation, or for your race, in the end, it's really about all races and all cultures and ethnicities becoming aware of the fact that, throughout some point in history, we've all suffered from slavery, oppression, racism, discrimination and inequality, which makes us more alike, than different. But without men like Dr.Woodson, we wouldn't know we shared this commonality. If BHM should be abolished, we must continue to teach ourselves and others, especially younger generations to come. So I encourage everyone to "keep hope alive", and continue to "have a dream"!

Sources:

*Morgan Freeman Clip on 60 Minutes: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FO214IFRW1M

bio. http://www.biography.com/blackhistory/history/black-history-month.jsp

Kelly, Raina. "The End of Black History Month?". Newsweek, 2010.

Haney, Elissa. "The History of Black History". Infoplease, 2007.